Coping with the tragedy

My heart is heavy after this past week's events. We have suffered our own losses in the district and now face a national tragedy as well. It is likely students have seen footage over the weekend and may or may not have had many questions and concerns. It is mostly important that we assure students that, as a school and their family, our utmost priority is to keep them safe at school and we will continue to do so. So hug them a little tighter and cherish the moments you have with them. I have included some information that was sent out to our staff. Read and use as you see appropriate.

Mrs. Farkas

Alan Kazdin, a professor of child psychology at Yale University, offers the following four tips for parents to talk to and help your children cope:

Don’t Over-Talk This
Parents can easily project their own fears onto their children. Your children will likely hear about it, so your child has questions. Answer at the level of the question. Parents shouldn’t dwell on the tragic nature of it, but don’t be evasive. Don’t lie; don’t withhold.

Shield Children From the Media
After 9/11, children suffered trauma from overexposure to the media. Child psychologists call it “secondary terrorism.” As parents, we sometimes take the stance that our children need to be tough and “they might as well know the truth.” But psychologists say they need to be ”coddled, cushioned and comforted” now so they can be emotionally stronger later.

Maintain a Normal Routine
Try to keep as many normal rituals going on as possible. Go to soccer practice. Keep that play date. Children need you to know that this doesn’t affect them.

Reassure, Reassure
If your child develops a fear of school, tell him or her, “This is so rare. Something this terrible has never happened before. This never happened to mommy’s school. Grownups are doing everything to keep kids safe.”

Remember that through “middle childhood,” kids have normal excessive fears: the dark, sharks, etc. If they say, “I don’t want to go to school,” help them distance themselves from it. Repeatedly reassure without dismissing their fears, and give them a hug. Touch makes a huge difference.